I don’t know all the answers…
I do know how to get you out of that dark place of pain and loneliness so you can begin to open up your heart and no longer live in fear.
I have always struggled with the idea of someone telling me what I should or shouldn’t do and spent my late teens and early 20’s hopping from job to job because I thought that’s what I should do.
I needed to earn money and I didn’t really pay any attention to what the vehicle was to earn that money.
This didn’t work out for me, and as soon as I felt like I wasn’t being treated as a human being, I either walked out, squared up to the boss (yes I was a young man who lacked communication skills) or got the sack.
Something had to change!
I began dreaming about the life I could have if I wasn’t afraid of going after it…
It took me a while to recognise that we’re all afraid but the ones that create the life and relationships they truly desire are the ones that don’t let the fear consume and control them.
“When the student is ready the teacher/lesson/sign will appear…”
One day I was called to pick up the local paper…Flicking through it my eyes were drawn to our local council advertising an apprenticeship for a fitness instructor.
Now at 22 the thought of leaving a job that was paying me £1100 a month (plenty of beer tokens while I was living at home) for an apprenticeship where I’d be earning £400 a month was something that wasn’t really enticing me in.
I realised that this was just my fear and if I wanted that life I dream of I’d have to face it head on,
Sometimes you have to go back a few steps to really be able to make huge strides forward.
I applied, as did over 100 others.
2 of us were offered the apprenticeship!
This was a huge confidence boost for me and was the beginning of ‘I feel the fear but i’m going to do it anyway’ mindset that I have created.
Fast forward to my late 20’s when I found myself at rock bottom, sleeping on a little leather sofa in my personal training studio fully clothed because of the -8 degrees temperature outside, and in £7k worth of debt again I had that wake up call…
Something has to change!
Once I began taking responsibility, feeling the fear and moving forward anyway, I began taking back control.
I focused on self ownership and really began looking into where am I holding myself back.
Why am I in this situation and what can I do to move forward?
I had to start slow because I was struggling to get from one day to the next, so instead of bottling everything up I started to speak,
I started this blog,
I was having conversations with people close to me and I fell in love with the ‘world’ of self love.
I recognised my whole life has been a result of the fact that I haven’t truly loved myself, now the caveat to this is I don’t believe we will ever love ourselves unconditionally, it’s not a destination but a practice.
This led me to one of the most profound realisations that I have ever had…
‘I can choose to love myself in every single moment!’
I started looking at my life objectively,
How I was choosing to fill my days,
The interactions I was having,
The behaviours I was engaging in,
I began having so many lightbulb moments as to why relationships broke down, I got into debt and felt so unfulfilled, and was suffering with this deep sense of loneliness.
Self love is like your bank account,
Each time you choose to do something that is in alignment with you loving yourself, you deposit a token,
Each time you do something that is out of alignment with you loving yourself, you spend a token.
Once you get low on tokens, you have to start focusing on depositing more than you’re withdrawing because unfortunately this bank account doesn’t come with an overdraft,
You can NOT go into minus!
If your bank account is in a healthy place every day, you can invest in those closest to you, if it’s getting close to 0 you have very little to be able help others.
I began depositing tokens,
I began focusing on exercise,
I began filling my mind with positivity,
I began reading again,
I began investing in time on my own,
I stopped spending as many tokens and this enabled me to focus on what I wanted for my life instead of what I didn’t want (my current reality).
I learned to feel the fear, forgive myself, and make self love a daily practice.
6 months ago I began rebranding my business, feeling the fear but trusting myself anyway.
I knew the passion, the insights, the work I’ve done on myself is so powerful that I would be not only doing myself a disservice by not stepping into my purpose, but I would also be turning my back on all of those men that need the support that I needed a few years ago!
If right now you are feeling like no one sees you, Like no one ever asks you how you really are and if they do, you don’t truly believe you can open up to them fully without judgement,
Then my 28 Day Mens Initiation is a great place to start.
This is where we prioritise you feeling confident in your body so you can begin to like who you see in the mirror.
If you’d like to find out more info just drop a comment below and i’ll get back to you with more details.
You’ve got this!