So ironic that for the last minute or 2 I’ve been trying to hit the question mark at the end of the title of this and it appears that key is technically speaking FUCKED! Maybe that is trying to show me just how little unconditional love I actually have access to 😉!
So growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness and trying to live in a system that tells you time and time again, that in order for Jehovah to want you in the paradise and to survive Armageddon, you need to be this and do that and think these thoughts and look this way and and and and, conditions conditions conditions.
Now as a young boy the thought of being murdered by god if I didn’t follow these rules was not exactly a fate that I wanted to imagine for my life.
So this led me down the path of ‘I’m a good little boy’ and even at the ripe old age of 12 gave me this sense of righteousness where I felt better than others because I knew the TRUTH, that’s actually what that cult call their religion ‘the truth’.
Now you can obviously tell that I still have some ‘stuff’ to heal around my time as a Jehovah Witness but I wanted to use that religion as an initial reference point for my confusion around love.
I actually recently asked a Jehovah’s Witness why if Jehovah was such a loving god, does he demand that we worship him unconditionally, but yet he only loves us conditionally.
His response was ‘well of course love is conditional’ and that was where that topic abruptly ended.
Now I’m going to leave that religion there for now and move on to every day life as a human being.
I want to start off by inviting you to turn that phrase around…
Human being = being human.
As we are just being (or playing) as a human we are NOT human WE (or I) is something playing a role of a human, meaning that we are NOT our physical body but the awareness or consciousness behind, or at play, just having a human experience.
Now this is what I really want to get into.
All the ways in which we identify as a human, and every role we embody, and how this closes us off to unconditional love.
This is something that Ram Dass goes into a lot and has really enabled me to question and really build an awareness around my intentions.
To simplify it I want you to think about every interaction you have recently had, and how you have either put them on a different level to yourself, or you have held a subtle (or not so subtle) feeling of superiority over them.
Now this can materialise in various ways but again to simplify think about how you have tried to influence them in some way to think that you are different or better than them,
You’re right and they are wrong.
Now I have to be very aware of these thoughts and identifying with my ego, especially around my feelings regarding that religion, because what I am creating in my head (the stories and beliefs about that religion) are also another way that my ego is able to give me a sense of superiority, and anything that ‘others’ us from eachother is another way that we are proving that we do NOT love them (effectively you, I, us) unconditionally.
This is an elite level practise (be careful because that statement is also a trap 😉) that Jesus, buddha, Mohammed etc were here to teach us,
“Love your neighbour as yourself”
But in practise it’s not so easy.
Could you love someone that cheated on you…
Could you love someone that killed your pet…
Could you love someone that spoke a lot of shit about you…
Could you love someone that really hurt you but wasn’t sorry…
Those are hard right!
Now wait until you think about this level…
Could you love someone who physically hurt your mum…
Could you love someone who murdered your dad…
Could you love someone who sexually abused you…
We can go even further…
Could you love someone who tortured you…
Could you love hitler…
Could you love Bill Gates (fun)…
Now think about every single feeling, thought, and story you use to justify why they don’t deserve your love…
Now what spirituality effectively is, is a practise of BEING unconditional love, and just loving everyone because you see the soul (your soul) inside them, regardless of whatever role they are physically playing right now in this human experience.
Now that does NOT mean that you love their behaviour or actions!
But instead you love them because you ARE love, and every single time you turn your love on and off, and only choose to love this trait, or that trait, you are immediately identifying with your ego or your humanness and therefore are trapped in this perpetual cycle of ‘woe is me’ ‘if only they were more like me’ etc etc.
I think (ego) we (I) have to be very careful with our intentions behind everything we say, do and are because as soon as we create disconnection between you and them (us) you then fall into a very self-centred journey, which will NEVER allow you to experience unconditional love and really that’s what life is, LOVE.
Now of course the humanness in us has a lot of ‘imperfections’ and in my opinion the greatest one is the fear of death, because when you fear death, you ARE your ego, and you fully identify with all your aches, pains, struggles, medical conditions etc and as soon as you limit yourself, you have also trapped everyone else in the prison of your mind because your fear will also try to control the lives of those around you.
Death really is a dropping of the physical form, you may of heard people refer to it as the body as our meat suit.
Our body dies but WE do not.
Now again this does not mean you can’t or shouldn’t grieve other humans passing in your life, because as a human being, grief is part of the human experience and just something that we get to love as well, you can’t have life without death, think of the food we eat, whether it’s a plant or an animal the death of that gives us life.
Now I am by no means saying that this is easy or that I have achieved any of it, and I am really trying to write this without any thoughts of ‘I hope someone likes this’ because my intention behind writing this is that I miss writing, and writing is something that I have always loved, but recently I have viewed it as something I need to do with a specific intention behind it outside of just pure enjoyment.
Over the last few years I have really began looking at things very philosophically and I always come back to my own struggles with unconditional love and identifying with my ego.
Now this can also be a trap because if I begin identifying as someone that tries not to identify with my ego then that’s still me potentially using that as a way to other myself again.
My practise right now is around my intention and if what I’m doing is purely for love or to make me feel MORE than or BETTER THAN instead of just being of service and helping.
Ram Dass calls this ‘being the help and NOT identifying as the helper’ and I think about whenever I see videos of a homeless person having a camera shoved in their face when someone buys them a sandwich.
These are just some thoughts for today with no real structure, no expectation or needs for it to be or do anything other than sit ‘there’ this is really just me emptying my mind and doing something I enjoy.
In my opinion the question (that wasn’t a question because that key on my keyboard is broke) Can you accept unconditional love is really defined by how much can you love unconditionally and each time you think you love unconditionally just ask yourself how much you love your ‘enemy’
Trying to love you unconditionally,