So if you are an open-minded, deep thinking adult who accepts responsibility and understands that your insecurities and emotions are yours to manage then this blog will be like a breath of fresh air that elevates your already empowered self.
If you are a victim of the world, your emotions and society then this blog is everything you need right now to trigger you into a psychedelicesque ego-annihilation without the risk of ending up in the slammer, so you can begin to take back control of your life and stop looking for something outside of you to blame.
I want to discuss what it is about social media that everyone seems to blame instead of looking at what the real issues are. Just like the Brazilian government tried to cover up and ignore the problems of homelessness before the world cup I’m going to explore how we refuse to accept responsibility for our flawed childlike emotions and stop looking for someone or something to shootdown in blame.
Now this is one of them blogs where treading carefully would probably be advised but all of us respond differently to things and in my own humble opinion, I feel that we all need a form of tough love at times.
Now with all of that in mind I hope you will walk through the metaphorical door of harsh truth with me and begin to think about this objectively.
Firstly, welcome to the land of responsibility it’s good to see you here 😊! I want to discuss one of societies largest scapegoats over the last few years…
What a horrific platform full of narcissistic humans, relationship destroying green eyed monsters and ‘my life is so much better than yours’ aristocrats.
I absolutely love social media it has so many pros, like the fact you are probably reading this right now via my social media page 😉.
It’s a sad reality that we have become a society of victims that want to blame anything and everything that makes us feel a certain way we don’t like but unfortunately (if you’re a glass half empty kind of person) it’s your responsibility to put on that coat of armour and fight back through self care and self love so that nothing can pierce that *insert superhero suit* of yours.
Now here are the top 3 things that people blame social media for,
- Ruining relationships.
- Portraying an unrealistic body image.
- Comparison and not feeling good enough based on what others put on fb.
Now lets say you are in a relationship with someone and they post a selfie. Instantly you begin checking up every few minutes to see who has liked it, before you know it you’ve spent the last 20 minutes going through every one of the likes and have found yourself on some unknown persons profile going through every photo to see how many your partner has liked of theirs.
^^^ Social medias fault or your insecurities…?
Someone who is in amazing shape who works hard on her health and fitness trains hard and prioritises her diet and training posts a selfie in a bikini when she is on holiday. She instantly gets backlash because of the fact that she looks amazing and loves her body and wants to share a photo of herself on social media.
^^^ Social medias fault or your lack of self-love…?
It’s Christmas time and everyone seems to be posting loads of lovely photos of their trees and all the presents they have bought for their children to enjoy but all you can think about is the fact that you couldn’t afford to buy everything you wanted to for your children.
^^^ Social medias fault or your lack of gratitude for the fact that you can enjoy xmas with a roof over your head and your family around you…?
This is where we really go deep down the rabbit hole…
Suicide rate over the last 30 years has actually decreased according to the Samaritans, but men still account for three-quarters of suicides in the uk.
Now this statistic should of risen if social media was to blame but the fact that it’s decreased actually proves that social media isn’t to blame.
Side-note* suicide is still the most common cause of death in men in the UK.
Now let’s back-pedal.
Why do you personally think that social media specifically gets a bad rap???
I think it has a lot of facets to this but the main two HAVE to be,
We live in a world where everything is accessible at the touch of a button and is all about giving us instant gratification without doing the work previously required to attain that thing.
You feel entitled to be happy all of the time,
You feel entitled to never be offended,
You feel entitled to voice your opinion but no one can disagree with it,
You feel entitled to find an amazing partner that ticks all of your boxes without actually being someone that would attract someone like that,
You feel entitled to have money and holidays and a nice home without having to work for it,
You feel entitled to never be criticised,
You feel entitled to your health but don’t look after your body,
You feel entitled to everything you’ve ever wanted but don’t do anything that warrants having that life.
We are only entitled to what we work for and put effort into consistently.
Our insecurities are exactly that OURS! NEVER do they become anyone else’s problem by you forcing them on to them.
We all have insecurities but it is absolutely vital that we work on them daily instead of looking to blame external factors such as Facebook for your lack of self-love.
A question I always like to ask myself is,
“Is that thing or person to blame or am I in fact looking through my subjective goggles?”
9/10 an emotion/feeling has just been triggered in me that I don’t like so instead of looking to blame something external It’s so important that I look to understand why I felt that way this in my opinion is the most valuable tool we have access to… self-reflection!
Once you focus on becoming the best version of yourself, not just sharing the odd inspirational quote on that platform you blame then you begin to realise that NOTHING is personal and EVERYTHING is down to how you feel about yourself.
Below are the dictionaries definitions of insecurity, blame and responsibility.
Insecurities – uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence.
We all have them but we have to focus on taking the time to acknowledge them and work through them so they no longer control our lives and relationships.
Blame – feel or declare that someone or something is responsible for a fault or wrong.
This is a huge ego defence mechanism that we use to justify any of our wrong-doings and keep us locked in this state of victim mentality, ditch it, STOP blaming everyone and everything!
Responsibility – the state or fact of having a duty to deal with something or of having control over someone.
This is the part where you collect your badge of honour and go back out into the ‘real’ world where you now see everything in front of you as a representation of everything that is inside of you…
Just like the ending scene in Shutter Island (my all time favourite film!) where Teddy says to Chuck
“Which would be worse: To live as a monster, or to die as a good man?”
You too have to make a decision, do you accept responsibility or do you live in blame…?